Lofty Goals ARE Lofty

I have this very nice and long entry that I have almost ready (meaning there are several things I need to revise). But I really would like to be a little better at reaching some of my smaller goals (mostly to show myself that it’s not that hard to do), so I’m going to post this little guy tonight and then throw the “real” entry up tomorrow.  It has so much more fun within, so…

Though there won’t be much in the way of “depth” with this entry, I do have a couple of thoughts that just can’t wait! They’re bursting to get out of my head, so I’ve gotta let them free.

I’ve been lucky enough to be surrounded (or cursed) by people who have a very, particular strength that I do not have. There may not be a word for it, because I try to shape and mold the definition so it feels better for me. If I ignore the sting that comes with using this word that best describes this weakness, I could call it self-discipline….but I don’t like that word, so we won’t use it. I don’t like feeling uncomfortable, so we'll just go a head and move on now. 

Essentially, if I can justify (which I can do very well) why I should or should not do something, I’ve almost already made up my mind.  I like to call this thing, determination. I’m finding that this only fits, when the circumstances or results are positive.  I admire those who possess this strength, even if they have to dig deep to find it…and sometimes, don’t even know they have it.  I admire those people, for I am not one of you!

I’m amazed at the clarity that comes when we look for it.  I find that if I’m franticly looking for an understanding or meaning, I just become more panicked. It’s in those calm, methodical moments when we (or at least I) make the best decisions.  I haven’t had many of those for these last several months…or this last year.  I’m learning that I have to remember that I once trusted myself to make better, and even wise choices.  I think that’s the whole idea behind determining who we are and what our own sense of self-worth really means and what it really IS.

I have a point. You just might have to wait until tomorrow to fully understand it, because it’s late and I am not the 20 yr old, child-free girl I once was.